The amount of meaningful time I
think FEEL I may or may not have left…
… is forever at the mercy of my strength and energy levels… at the mercy of my appetite, sleep quality, and mood of the day.
… is constantly hanging in the balance with every encouraging or discouraging test result.
… rises and falls as pains come and go,
… rises and rises as pains come and stay.
… can be wrenched for the worst by an alarming symptom, unexpected complication, or sudden crisis that can blindside you at any moment.
… is easily launched down a rabbit hole of anxiety by a doctor’s insensitive remark.
… all the while ticking down with each passing day, hour, minute, and heartbeat.
One moment you’re filled with hope… the next breath crushed with despair.
How is anyone supposed to live like this?